Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

A report says Steve Bannon could be gone from the White House by the end of the week. Not because of anything he has done, mostly just from the fact it’s been nearly two weeks since Donald Trump has fired anyone on his staff.

Police are looking for a Texas man accused of having sex with a chain link fence. If convicted, he is not expected to serve time as it was his first off-fence.

Household debt in the U.S. has reached a record $12.8 Trillion. The good news is that it is always a sign of a strong economy when Americans are willing to go back to their regular habits of spending twice what they make.

A study says lightning has been hitting fewer Americans. The reasons are better education about weather, more advanced warning systems and the fact it’s hard to be struck when people are spending their entire day on the living room couch.

 A study says lightning has been hitting fewer Americans. It just shows more people are becoming well grounded.

A U.S. Navy Commander has pleaded guilty to fraud and bribery in a scheme that overbilled the Navy for $35 Million. Who did he think he was, a defense contractor?

Donald Trump says several CEOs who quit his advisory council don’t take their jobs seriously. He says if they were really professional they would have at least given him the chance to fire them first.

Donald Trump says several CEOs who quit his advisory council don’t take their jobs seriously. The only people he allows to just quit are people on his White House staff.

U.S. Ambassador Nikki Haley says Iran shouldn’t be allowed to use its nuclear deal to “hold the world hostage.” To which Iran is saying “What are we supposed to use, a platoon of soldiers riding donkeys armed with rocks and trash can lids?”

U.S. Ambassador Nikki Haley says Iran shouldn’t be allowed to use its nuclear deal to “hold the world hostage.” To which Iran says they would just take another embassy hostage but that is so 1970s.

A third woman is accusing Roman Polanski of attacking her sexually in the 1970s. To which even Bill Cosby is telling him maybe he should just stay in Europe.

Hillary Clinton is set to release her book “What Happened” next month that explains her loss in the 2016 election. Although some say the title should be changed to “What Happened!?”

Hillary Clinton is set to release her book “What Happened” next month that explains her loss in the 2016 election. To which a better title might be “How Did That Just Happen?”

Hillary Clinton is set to release her book “What Happened” next month that explains her loss in the 2016 election. An alternative title is “What, Who, Where, Why, When and How Just Happened?”

The U.S. says North Korea is executing, torturing and enslaving those who practice religion. To which atheists are telling those people maybe it’s just not working.

Donald Trump lashed out at the “alt-left” while saying there are “fine people on both sides” of the issue in Charlottesville. Because who but the finest people walk around carrying Confederate flags and Swastikas while giving the Nazi salute?

Guam radio stations accidentally issued an emergency alert in the wake of threats of nuclear attack by North Korea. The question is what’s the point as where is anyone on Guam even going to be able to go in any kind of emergency?

MoviePass is offering tickets to see a movie a day at a theater for an entire month for just $10. The catch is that theaters know they will get it back when those people end up paying $2,500 during that month for popcorn, candy and soda.

Eminem is selling a Michigan home for $2 Million. The estate is narrow and lined by trees, which means it is being described as slim and shady.

The head of the AFL-CIO has resigned from Donald Trump’s manufacturing council, saying Trump tolerates bigotry and domestic terrorism. That and the fact that the AFL-CIO is down to representing just twelve workers in the manufacturing sector.

AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka has quit Donald Trump’s manufacturing council, saying Trump tolerates bigotry and domestic terrorism. Also because people think Trumka is the name of a company owned by Trump and Ivanka.

The government has told CSX Railroad it won’t tolerate delays that are slowing Amtrak trains to a crawl. To which CSX is saying it’s the only way to finally keep them on the tracks.

Costco has been ordered to pay Tiffany $19.4 Million for falsely using their names on rings. Costco’s defense is that people should know they aren’t genuine Tiffany rings when they cost $15 for a box of 12.

Costco has been ordered to pay Tiffany $19.4 Million for falsely using their names on rings. Costco is now just hoping that nothing is going to come from the $20 watches they have been selling that say “Rolex.”

Costco has been ordered to pay Tiffany $19.4 Million for falsely using their names on rings. Not only that, but Costco will now have to take down the signs on the front of their stores saying “Saks Fifth Avenue.”

A study says Donald Trump’s immigration plan could cost 4.6 Million jobs. And that is just for all the border patrol agents who will eventually be laid off.

A study says Donald Trump’s immigration plan could cost 4.6 Million jobs. Not to mention all the people who will have to deal with having a dirty swimming pool, unkempt yard and nobody raising their kids.

Experts say that hate crimes are a public health issue. Mostly the way Republicans are trying to take away people’s health insurance because they hate Obamacare.

The Miami Dolphins and University of Miami are developing a program to study concussions in high school athletes. Mostly so they know the ones to avoid recruiting and taking in the draft.

A study says a lack of sleep may raise the risk of children developing Type 2 Diabetes. Especially when they are awake all night because of their sugar high.

A study says doctors from low ranking medical schools write three times more prescriptions for opioids than doctors from top tier schools. Mostly because the first group feels if they can’t cure patients they might as well make them feel better.

A study says the use of antidepressants has gone up 65% in the past 15 years. Mostly by Democrats under George W. Bush, Republicans under Barack Obama and now everyone under Donald Trump.

A study says knee arthritis is twice as common as it was several years ago. Mostly because in past decades we didn’t make our knees always carry around an extra 200 pounds.

A study says that givers are happier than takers. Although obviously, the research didn’t include any men while they were writing out their alimony checks.

A study says getting angry can help make people happier in the long run. Which is just more good news for Donald Trump and his followers in Charlottesville.

A study says pot may ease nerve pain. Although users say the whole point of using weed is that it eases nerve anything.

Female country music veterans say there is a culture of mistreating women in the genre. To which the men in country music call the mistreatment of women, pretty much the lyrics to every country song ever written.

The Broadway musical “Groundhog Day” will be ending its run next month. Which pretty much defeats the entire story line of the production.

The Broadway musical “Groundhog Day” will be ending its run next month. It’s the one that isn’t over until the portly rodent sings.

Johnny Depp surprised children at a hospital in Canada by appearing dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. Although it got a little scary when he went into the Operating Room dressed as Sweeney Todd.

A signature purple hue has been named in honor of Prince. Which ironically is the same color people turn after overdosing on opioids.

Usain Bolt is set to make his debut as a soccer player with Manchester United. He plans to use his speed to score two goals in the first minute and then leave knowing that should be more scoring than the average soccer team sees in three weeks.

Atlanta’s new Mercedes Benz Stadium is set to open soon, holding 71,000 fans for football and 42,500 for soccer. The only problem is finding 71,000 people in Atlanta who want to watch the Falcons and 42,500 who want to see Atlanta United.

Atlanta’s new Mercedes Benz Stadium is set to open soon. Although Mercedes Benz is wasting its money advertising in Atlanta, where the naming rights should have gone to the maker of the official state auto, a Ford F-150 sporting a Confederate flag.

The Chargers are offering free team-themed tattoos for their L.A. fans. The question is are they dumber for getting a tattoo of a perennial loser or having it be the reason they are now having to be treated for Hepatitis C?

The Chargers are offering free team-themed tattoos for their L.A. fans. Even duplicating Mike Tyson’s facial Maori tribal tattoo would not be as embarrassing as having everyone see a Charger’s emblem permanently etched on your body.

The NBA’s transition program is helping rookies avoid the financial and social pitfalls of sudden wealth and fame. Which is mostly covered in three parts: Dennis Rodman; Shawn Kemp; and Allen Iverson.

“The Hunger Games” and “Twilight” movie series are getting their own theme parks in South Korea. Which is only fitting that post-apocalyptic and vampire movies would be honored in the shadow of the North Korean nuclear war fallout zone.

A study says organizations are willing to try out longer passwords for security purposes. The only problem is that most employees will now use “passwordpasswordpassword” and “12345678.”

Anthony Scaramucci says Steve Bannon would be gone if it was his call. Which is just too bad that he didn’t make his call a little sooner than the ten days he was there.

Anthony Scaramucci says Steve Bannon would be gone if it was his call. It’s just too bad for Scaramucci that before he could even plug in his phone to make that call, someone made the call on him.

Donald Trump made a vague statement about Charlottesville saying he didn’t get more specific because he “wanted to wait for the facts.” To which his opponents are asking why start now?


That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! This is my first day by myself in the house. My wife passed away six years ago and now my daughter is off to college. Sigh. But I still have my best buddy, Tommy who is my loyal friend as long as I feed him and take him for an occasional ride. Just for the record he is a dog. But he takes more of my time than anyone else ever has as he is diabetic (too many jelly beans) and just plain needy. As well as constantly in the belief he has earned another cookie. So things are still good, and they will be as long as I continue to stay busy writing the jokes and chronicling the events of the world. But it’s never as good as when you all remember to always keep on sending the love!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

French President Macron’s popularity has dropped to 36% after his first 100 days in office. Apparently Macron is the French word for “Trump.”

An Alabama man has been arrested for hitting his brother with a baseball bat after having to share some food he bought at Taco Bell. Although it turns out being hit with a baseball bat was less harmful for his health than a meal fro Taco Bell.

An Alabama man has been arrested for hitting his brother with a baseball bat after having to share some food he bought at Taco Bell. Imagine his brother’s surprise when he ordered a Chalupa and instead got a Louisville Slugger.

A robot will use Artificial Intelligence to solve celebrity relationship issues on a UK TV show. It is like having a “Love Connection” only this time through a USB port.

A robot will use Artificial Intelligence to solve celebrity relationship issues on a UK TV show. Instead of “Dear Abby” they are trying out “Dear Watson.”

A Pennsylvania woman killed her dogs and set her house on fire in order to remove “evil spirits.” Although in her case all she did was get rid of all the fleas.

Willie Nelson canceled a concert in Salt Lake City due to shortness of breath, saying the altitude got to him. Which was a surprise in that it was the first time he ever had an issue with being too high.

Willie Nelson canceled a concert in Salt Lake City due to shortness of breath, saying the altitude got to him. Apparently someone just rolled a joint a little too tight.

A teenager reportedly has died at a Chinese Internet addiction camp after sustaining multiple injuries. Apparently the kids decided if they couldn’t play “Mortal Kombat” on a device, they were going to do it for real.

A study says one fifth of Americans say their workplace is “horrible” or “threatening.” The other four say they will answer the survey when they are actually able to find a job.

A study says one fifth of Americans say their workplace is “horrible” or “threatening.” And those are just the ones surveyed who are still on the staff at the White House.

Guam’s leader says a “punch in the nose” is his answer to threats of an attack by North Korea. Although someone should tell him yelling out “Marquis of Queensbury!” isn’t going to scare anyone talking about launching nuclear weapons.

Switzerland’s first insect-based food for humans will go on sale next week. Americans were surprised. They are just now getting their first Taco Bell?

Sex robots are being built in the UK to look like customers’ deceased wives. Which is good for the men who can now find out what it would have been like if their wives had ever actually consented to having sex with them.

A study says using smiley face emojis in work e-mails makes the sender look incompetent. Mostly because no one thinks anyone knows what is going on who makes it look like they are having a good time at the office.

A study says using smiley face emojis in work e-mails makes the sender look incompetent. If people want to really look like they know what they are doing on the job, they need to instead send everyone else the middle finger emoji.

Big Ben will be silenced for the next four years to undergo repairs. Which is just as well as the clock tower is obsolete now that nobody knows how to tell time with an analogue clock anymore.

Venezuela has ordered military drills after Donald Trump’s recent comments about possible intervention. Which means our troops will have to be prepared to take on a force with the firepower of a drone, catapult and three slingshots.

White Nationalists say that the incident in Charlottesville was “just the beginning.” That is if you don’t count all the other white nationalists that have been around a bit longer than that, say back to around 1654.

An SUV carrying a propane barbecue in Florida exploded when the woman driver lit a cigarette. The worst part is that besides being burned by the flames, she is going to have to now be grilled by the police.

Kim Jong-un has reportedly dropped out of sight the past two weeks in North Korea, sparking fears he is planning to fire off a new rocket. Although it may just be he is waiting out going through yet another bad haircut.

Google and GoDaddy have dropped a neo-Nazi group’s domain registration. Apparently Google feels the only group made up of only white males that can have their own web site is Google.

A poll says few U.S. workers are worried that technology will make their job obsolete. Apparently it’s hard to even find any robots that will consent to cleaning out the Slurpee machine.

United Airlines is developing a plan to reduce overbooking flights. Apparently they found if they keep delaying and canceling flights and dragging passengers off planes, pretty soon they won’t have to worry about anyone buying tickets.

A study says there is little evidence that pot helps with chronic pain or PTSD. To which users are saying “We're  supposed to be using it for pain and PTSD?”

An Australian lawmaker compared same-sex marriage to the relationship between cycling buddies. Which brings on a whole new meaning when cyclists there say they are taking a ride “Down Under” and going to the “Outback.”

A study says light to moderate alcohol consumption is linked to a reduced risk of death. Mostly when the body becomes more relaxed and is less likely to be hurt by the impact of when they crash their car while driving drunk.

Amazon is warning of bad eclipse glasses sold on their site. Especially the ones being sold as eclipse glasses that are actually just binoculars.

Amazon is warning of bad eclipse glasses sold on their site. Although anyone using Amazon regularly will find getting burned won’t only be confined to their retinas.

A study says cardiac stem cells were able to rejuvenate rats’ aging hearts. Which is finally some good news for the New York City pizza rat.

A study says cardiac stem cells were able to rejuvenate rats’ aging hearts. Which is sad to know that lab rats have a better healthcare plan than what everyone else will have when Congress is through with us.

Pot is being seen to have a potential for treating drug addiction. Mostly by making users too lazy to get off the couch and try to go out and score some opioids.

Pot is being seen to have a potential for treating drug addiction. Which makes those of us who lived through the 1960s remember how the biggest fear back then was people becoming addicted to pot.

Oprah Winfrey explained in an interview why she never married Stedman Graham. Apparently it comes down to two words. “Community property.”

A stunt person working on “Deadpool 2” died after an on-set accident. The worst part is that everyone immediately checked to see if they had “August 14th.”

A new “Hamilton” app features music, merchandise and information about the show. To make it even more like going to an actual performance, it’s being sold for $850.

Tom Cruise was reportedly injured while performing a stunt for “Mission: Impossible 6.” Apparently he fell off the box he has to stand on to look 6 feet tall.

A report says Tiger Woods had five drugs in his system when he was arrested for DUI, including Vicodin, Xanax and Ambien. What’s sad is that it doesn’t take that many drugs in a tranquilizer dart to put down a real tiger.

Jerry Rice and Steve Young visited the 49ers camp to give tips on how to rebuild the team. Their best suggestion was to bring back Jerry Rice and Steve Young.

The Chicago Cubs are reportedly not happy about hosting the Cardinals the Thursday after the All-Star break in 2018. The league should instead have the Giants play the Phillies as it’s not like their players will be busy over the break.

The L.A. Clippers have released their next year’s season schedule. They want to put it out early so their players can make plans for how they will spend the offseason.

Former Cavalier Dahntay Jones says he doesn’t rate Stephen Curry in the NBA’s top ten. Which would be more credible if it came from someone who was rated by anyone else as being in the league’s top 100.

Jordan Spieth is the early favorite to win the 2018 Masters. Especially if the tournament committee passes the proposed rule allowing a Mulligan on the 12th.

Bryce Harper injured his knee against the Giants slipping on a wet base. Apparently it wasn’t wiped off the inning before because no one is used to the Giants actually ever having anyone on base.

San Diego residents could get $20,000 taken off the price of a new electric car because of rebates and incentives. The only problem is finding a five-mile long extension cord to power the car while stuck for three hours in traffic on I-5.

91 volcanoes have been discovered underneath the arctic ice sheet. Which came as good news for Donald Trump’s EPA which claimed that there is no global warming, the ice is just melting from all the lava coming to the surface.

Steve Bannon is reportedly laying low during recent White House tension. The word is he may be leaving soon to open a Tiki shop in Charlottesville.

Texas A&M has canceled a White Nationalist rally planned for September 11th. Well, what could possibly go wrong with a racist group planning a demonstration on that date?

Texas A&M has canceled a White Nationalist rally planned for September 11th. The question, who at Texas A&M thought it would be a good idea to let White Nationalists hold a rally there any time?

Texas A&M has canceled a White Nationalist rally planned for September 11th. Apparently the administration thought it might be confused with the other group of exclusively white people on campus. The student body.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! A big day today as I am moving my daughter to Huntington where she will officially become a college student at Marshall University. I will miss her being around every day but am so excited for her to take the final big step to getting out on her own. She has done so well in the past year and I know she will be able to meet the challenge and in just another four years have her diploma. Her mom would be so proud! I certainly am. The good thing is she is just an hour away so she can come back on any weekend or I can go see her so we will still have plenty of time together. The years just seem to be going by faster, (sigh). At least I still have all of you every day to keep writing jokes for. I never feel alone when you all remember to always keep on sending the love!



Sunday, August 13, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

Donald Trump says he “won’t rule out” military action in Venezuela. Although it needs to happen soon before he builds the wall on the Mexican border so our troops can get there without having to find a way around it.

Southern nationalists are starting to argue for secession from the U.S. To which the north is saying that’s fine as it would take away enough of Donald Trump’s electoral votes to beat him in 2020.

Congressional investigators want to question Donald Trump’s personal secretary. It isn’t easy being a secretary for Trump. Just ask his Secretary of State, Secretary of Health, Secretary of Defense…

The world’s first try-before-you-buy sex doll is for sale in the UK. Apparently it gives users the same sensation of dating Paris Hilton.

A report says 74% of Americans say they have sent nude pictures of themselves to their lovers. To which Anthony Weiner is saying “Oh, so NOW it’s OK.”

California’s Yosemite Park is struggling to cope with traffic problems. Although it’s nice for city dwellers to be able to get away from it all but still have the modern amenities of gridlock, smog and road rage.

In a phone call to Donald Trump, China’s President Xi urged restraint over North Korea. The question now is who is going to urge restraint over China?

In a phone call to Donald Trump, China’s President Xi urged restraint over North Korea. Now all we need is someone to urge restraint by Trump over Iran, Venezuela, Russia, Cuba…

Pyongyang is warning that North Korea could reduce the U.S. to ashes at any moment. Which is what Al Gore has been saying about climate change for years, only that it will take a little longer his way.

A study says chimps can learn to play rock, paper, scissors. Which means they now have the basic skills needed to learn to negotiate with Donald Trump.

A 106 year old “edible” fruitcake was found near the South Pole. Which is amazing seeing how it was left behind because it wasn’t considered edible 106 years ago.

A 106 year old “edible” fruitcake was found near the South Pole. Apparently it was one of the few that was discarded before the owner was able to regift it.

A 106 year old “edible” fruitcake was found near the South Pole. That was really an extreme measure for someone to go that far so they could tell who gave it to them they ate it and get rid of the evidence.

A report says Al Queda has drawn a bulls eye on a new American target, its subways. Although apparently they misunderstood the concept as they hired as their new terrorism spokesperson Jared Fogle.

A report says Al Queda has drawn a bulls eye on a new American target, its subways. To which New Yorkers are saying the terrorists are welcome to try something if they are tough enough to deal with all the breakdowns, gropers and pickpockets.

The fired Google engineer says the company operates like a “cult.” At least that’s the definition he came up with when he looked it up on Google.

The fired Google engineer says the company operates like a “cult.” Which isn’t completely true as even cults usually have a membership of more than two women.

Men’s Fitness magazine says it will drop its published version. Which is ironic that a health magazine can only survive by tightening its belt.

A scientist is arguing that intelligent life goes extinct after becoming technologically advanced. Apparently we aren’t the first society at the risk of annihilation from crashing while texting.

North Korea is warning Donald Trump to “walk and act properly.” How bad is it when our country’s leader is being given statesmanship lessons from Kim Jong-un?

North Korea is warning Donald Trump to “walk and act properly.” Which is embarrassing even to 13 year olds who are told by their mother to stand up straight and quit mumbling.

A report says jobs in the restaurant industry are growing faster than those in health care. Although more people working in restaurants means more people eating out which means soon enough that will result in needing more healthcare workers.

A report says jobs in the restaurant industry are growing faster than those in health care. Although the two go hand in hand for anyone going to eat at Chipotle.

More than 100 white activist men marched in protest through the campus of the University of Virginia. Which went largely unnoticed at first as everyone assumed it was just a job fair sponsored by Google.

Pat Robertson was hospitalized after falling from a horse. Which some people say is God’s way of telling him “…and the horse you rode in on.”

The Pentagon is saying the White House should clarify Donald Trump’s comments on Venezuela. To which the White House says they are still trying to clarify his comments on healthcare, taxes, the economy, immigration…

U.S. diplomats in Cuba have suffered reported “health attacks.” The good news is the victims don’t care since Cuba has universal health care so they are better off than being at home worrying about Congress canceling their insurance.

A report says Donald Trump’s failure to staff Pentagon positions is slowing the defense industry. Mostly because Trump is holding off on hiring more generals until he is sure exactly which war he is going to declare first.

The fired Google engineer says women are less assertive and more neurotic than men. Although it wasn’t sure if he was talking about why they aren’t more successful in the tech industry or the reason he hasn’t had a date in six years.

Virtual Reality headsets at San Jose public libraries are being used to bring stories to life. And also keep patrons from having to listen to the stories of the homeless, drug addicts and perverts who are the libraries’ permanent residents.

HP is set to send a supercomputer into space. Isn’t that the way HAL got its start in “2001: A Space Odyssey”?

A DNA test reunited two brothers with their mother after 46 years. Which is bad news for the mother who is now obligated to buy 184 presents to make up for all the Christmas and birthday gifts they missed out on over the years.

A study says alcohol abuse is on the rise in the U.S., particularly with women and older adults. Mostly because those are the people who are most depressed about not being able to get a job with Google.

A poll says 4 out of 5 Americans say it’s time the GOP ended its efforts to dismantle Obamacare. People can’t understand their lack of success as they see how easy it has been for Republicans to completely dismantle the White House staff.

HBO reportedly offered $250,000 to hackers who stole company data. Apparently the money would have been enough to cover six months’ worth of HBO, HBO 2, HBO Comedy, HBO Family and HBO Zone.

Chelsea Handler is calling for a military coup to overturn Donald Trump. Fortunately for Trump, the military is too busy trying to figure out what they will be doing with North Korea, Iran and China.

Chelsea Handler is calling for a military coup to overturn Donald Trump. Fortunately for Trump, there were more people watching what was being offered on cable access than her show playing in the bowels of Netflix.

Taylor Swift’s former bodyguard says he saw the accused DJ reach under Swift’s skirt and grope her. Which may explain how watching it happen and not doing anything is why he is now her former bodyguard.

The University of Louisville is calling the NCAA penalties against them “draconian.” Which caused every single NCAA athlete to rise together and say “What does ‘draconian’ mean?”

Ronda Rousey says she is “unsure” about a future in the WWE. Which is no surprise as after her last two fights with Holly Holm and Amanda Nunez, Rousey wasn’t even sure who she was.

The Cowboys Ezekiel Elliott says he was surprised and disappointed he was suspended by the NFL for six weeks. He says it seems a bit harsh as he didn’t deflate even one football.

Google has donated $1.5 Million to the 4-H Club to teach its 6 Million members about computer science and push diversity. Also that the girls in 4-H are much more biologically engineered to raise horses than work at Google.

A U.S. firm has revealed a gun toting drone that can fire in mid-air. Which shows the competition between pizza delivery companies has finally gotten way out of hand.

China is targeting social media giants over spreading “rumors” and “porn.” To which other countries around the world are asking China “Have you never heard of social media before?”

The Governor of Guam says Donald Trump told him that the threats by North Korea will raise the island’s tourism. Meaning Trump’s plan with this North Korea standoff is nothing more than an opportunity to scout new locations to build hotels.

The Governor of Guam says Donald Trump told him that the threats by North Korea will raise the island’s tourism. The only problem is all the tourists will be wearing military uniforms and carrying machine guns.

The Governor of Guam says Donald Trump told him that the threats by North Korea will raise the island’s tourism. Just look at all the people flocking to Chernobyl to see how a nuclear disaster can turn a place into a vacation hotspot.

A study says being overweight or obese is tied to depression. Mostly from people eating when they are depressed, and getting depressed when they see the bathroom scale topping the 350 mark.

A report says Donald Trump’s attacks against Mitch McConnell are hurting his agenda. People were surprised at the news. Trump actually has an agenda?

North Korea says its conflict with the U.S. is a “tragicomedy.” And that is just when pictures of the haircuts of the two countries’ leaders are put next to each other.

North Korea says its conflict with the U.S. is a “tragicomedy.” Which Trump disagrees with as that makes his administration seem more like a prime time soap opera instead of the preferred TV Guide listing of reality show.

Mike Pence has just revealed his portrait as Governor of Indiana. Apparently he wanted to wait for the perfect time that falls after leaving that position but before taking over as President after Donald Trump is impeached.

The NAACP has issued a travel warning to minorities going to Missouri. The news was met with shock by Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia, whose leaders say they just need to start trying harder to keep up.

The NAACP has issued a travel warning to minorities going to Missouri. Not because of racism, but just asking what possible reason is there for anyone to want to visit Missouri?

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Things are going crazy around this country. On one hand, it makes my job here a lot easier. On the other hand, I would rather have fewer jokes and a little more stability. Even the Sun is planning on going into hiding for a few minutes next week. I am sure things will calm down and get back to normal some time in the future. Until then, I will be able to cope just as soon as my do-it-yourself bomb shelter arrives from Amazon this week. Of course, I also find great comfort when you all remember to always keep on sending the love!