Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

Ryan Lochte was dropped by Speedo as a sponsor. Which only means the next time we see him swim he will just jump into the pool naked.

Ryan Lochte was dropped by Speedo as a sponsor. Which is ironic in that if he were just wearing a pair during the vandalism incident, those security guards would probably not have gotten within fifty feet of him.

Ryan Lochte has lost Ralph Lauren as a sponsor. They dropped him so hard that not only will he not be seen wearing their Polo brand, he won’t even be able to get into the pool to say “Marco!”

A poll says 52% of Republicans call voter fraud a major problem in 2016. The other 48% are wondering who would possibly try to rig the election for either of the candidates to win.

Hundreds of California schoolchildren are being sent home because of the state’s new vaccination law. Which is ironic in that a policy for improving kids’ health is going to mean for the next few days they will have nothing to do but sit on the couch with a bag of Doritos and their video console.

A group of scientists says that women are genetically programmed to have affairs. Especially the ones the scientists marry who have to listen to their husbands talk all day about their latest research findings.

A new technique that is more powerful than X-Rays can make the entire body completely transparent. Which means it will be used by doctors to locate fractures, dentists to find cavities and the TSA for on the job entertainment.

North Korea has threatened to turn the U.S. into a “heap of ashes.” To which the people living near the wildfires in California and Washington  are saying “too late.”

North Korea has threatened to turn the U.S. into a “heap of ashes.” To which Al Gore is saying they’re just stealing his ideas from “An Inconvenient Truth.”

A study says worker hours have become more unpredictable than ever. The only thing that is predicable is that no matter how many hours people in the U.S. work, they are all paid with the same minimum wage.

A study says worker hours have become more unpredictable than ever. Which is better than back in 2007 when all workers had a very predicable number of hours each week which was right around zero.

A report says a New Mexico nuclear accident two years ago that cost $2 Billion to clean up was among the costliest in U.S. history. Although anyone who thinks that $2 Billion in damage from nuclear materials is expensive hasn’t considered what will happen the day Donald Trump is put in charge of the button.

A report says Bill Gates’ personal fortune is now more than $90 Billion. Which means he finally has enough money saved up where he can feel comfortable spending more than the $8 he pays to have his hair styled at Supercuts.

A spokeswoman for an Illinois prison where workers were assaulted by inmates says rules were ignored. Which shouldn’t be a surprise because that is pretty much the reason we have prisons in the first place.

A spokeswoman for an Illinois prison where workers were assaulted by inmates says rules were ignored. Which means some of those prisoners may be looking at having to do some serious time out.

A Canadian girl called 911 because her parents “forced” her to go on vacation with them to a cottage. Which could have been solved if only her parents had allowed the remote site become an official stop for Pokemon Go.

A study says that divorces peak in March and August following winter and summer family vacation time.  Which has already been picked up by Disney World which now offer their resort guests a special “breakfast with the characters and divorce lawyers.”

Donald Trump’s new campaign manager Kellyanne Conway says that Hillary Clinton made a “grievous error” when she blew her chance to put away Trump in the past two weeks. How can someone deal with ISIS when they can’t even finish off an opponent with the 300 opportunities he has given her?

Nicolas Sarkozy says he will seek the French presidency again in 2017. Apparently he feels that if nothing else his marriage problems, scandals and nepotism could get him back into public office on the coattails of Donald Trump.

A study says 23% of Americans feel that cash and savings accounts are the best options for long term savings. The other 77% are saying what are cash and savings accounts?

A study says 23% of Americans feel that cash and savings accounts are the best options for long term savings. Which at today’s bank interest rates is true, as long as the long term savings plan is for at least 500 years.

An official with the Federal Reserve says the U.S. economy is close to its jobs and inflation targets. Which is good for one and bad for the other that both targets are right around zero.

An official with the Federal Reserve says the U.S. economy is close to its jobs and inflation targets. The good news is that inflation hasn’t been a problem since the last playoff game featuring Tom Brady.

Kobe Bryant has started a $100 Million capital venture firm. Apparently he came up with the cash by pawning off all the forgiveness jewelry he has had to buy his wife over the past 13 years.

A report says the Olympic medals in Tokyo may be made from recycled smartphones. Which may turn out to be a distraction when the winners are not paying attention on the podium because their medal has just detected a nearby Pokemon.

A report says the Olympic medals in Tokyo may be made from recycled smartphones. Except the swimming medals, which could be made from vandalized gas station bathroom doors.

A study says Republicans tend to admire sports stars while Democrats are more likely to admire TV personalities. Which is no surprise, especially when the former host of “The Apprentice” is making winning the November election so easy for them.

KFC has announced its own brand of sunscreen called “Extra Crispy.” It comes with eleven herbs and spices and is to be used in a tanning booth set to 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

KFC has announced its own brand of sunscreen called “Extra Crispy.” It gives your skin the same texture as what eating a bucket of their fried chicken does to your arteries.

A study says that people are less optimistic than previously thought. Especially when they found out they weren’t being paid to take the survey.

A study says that people are less optimistic than previously thought. Mostly after they political conventions ended and they realized that the next President is either going to be Clinton or Trump.

A study says that family members have a bigger influence on extending the life of seniors than friends. Except when the senior is wealthy and the family members find out they are listed in the will.

Scientists have developed edible food packaging to prevent waste. Which is following the lead of McDonald’s where years ago they came up with packaging that is actually is more nutritious than what is inside.

Scientists have developed edible food packaging to prevent waste. Although they would be doing most people’s health a favor by instead making some of the packaging impossible to open.

A study says that people don’t know as many words as they think. Like Donald Trump, whose entire vocabulary consists of “Amazing, huge, classy, moron and wall.”

A study says to help teens slim down, the focus should be put on health and not weight. Which wouldn’t be a problem in the first place if the focus was instead on ways to get them to put down their smartphones and video game consoles.

A study says more expensive homes tend to have a wider range of insects. The good news is that at the most wealthy homes the insects are at least done in by a Roach Motel that has a five star rating.

Tyra Banks is set to teach a class at Stanford next year on how she has been able to create and build her personal brand. Students will be told that first, you start out being born beautiful and thin…

A consumer watchdog group says the Kardashian family is making Instagram posts that don’t disclose they are being paid to advertise them. To which the family says anyone is completely out of touch who thinks the Kardashians do anything for free.

41 year old Leonardo DiCaprio and his 24 year old model girlfriend Nina Agdal were in a car crash where neither was hurt. Fortunately, DiCaprio was wearing his seat belt and she was strapped into her car seat.

Lindsay Lohan showed off her engagement ring at a recent appearance only she was wearing it on her right hand instead of her left. Sort of like the same confusion she has with which side of the road to be on when she is driving.

The strength coach for the University of Iowa is being paid nearly $600,000 a year. Apparently he claims he needs that much because he has the team members bench press boxes he fills with his cash.

Former NFL quarterback Todd Marinovich was caught naked and was booked for possession of pot in California. Which means only one thing. He’s getting into midseason form for an attempt at a comeback.

Former NFL quarterback Todd Marinovich was caught naked and was booked for possession of pot in California. He had a good excuse. Apparently he was going to Ryan Lochte’s house to use the bathroom.

Scientists say they can tell if a person is depressed by the picture filters they use on Instagram. That and because they have nothing else to do but put their selfies on Instagram all day.

A report says Apple is planning to release three iPhone models in 2017. Which is good news for people with Apple stock who know there are millions of customers who will cough up $2150 next year so they can make sure to have all three.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is set to take over as host of “Celebrity Apprentice.” Apparently the goal for the contestants is easy. Just don’t run your business into the ground like how Schwarzenegger ran California or how former host Donald Trump is running his presidential campaign.

A study says Ramen is replacing cigarettes as the most coveted prison currency. Which shows that even behind bars the Chinese have more bargaining power when it comes to trade agreements than the U.S.

Nintendo has sold its stake in the Seattle Mariners for $661 Million. Apparently they haven’t been as involved ever since they were originally hired to have Donkey Kong take care of the demolition of the Kingdome.

Nintendo has sold its stake in the Seattle Mariners for $661 Million. Not only that, part of the deal included getting Safeco Field to commit to becoming a permanent stop for Pokemon Go.

Delta Airlines is introducing Chip Tags that allow people to track their luggage. The good news is they can see precisely where their bags are at any time so they can send them a post card telling them how glad they will be to someday see them again.

A report says the Olympics generated 187 Million tweets and 1.5 Billion Facebook interactions. Of which all but seven came under the headings of “Ryan Lochte” and “douchebag.”

A report says the world’s largest pyramid is hidden by a mountain in Mexico. The good news is that it was discovered just recently when it showed up on a tourist’s cellphone as a stop for Pokemon Go.

The State Department is warning Americans that traveling to Iran could result in being arrested and detained. Or as most Americans already know that, going through the TSA security line.

The State Department is warning Americans that traveling to Iran could result in being arrested and detained. People were surprised by the warning. Who actually still thinks it might be a good idea to travel to Iran?


That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Well, the Olympics are over, now it’s just back to the other event featuring backflips, hurdles and cries of rigged officiating. The presidential election. Well, at least that makes this effort a lot more easy every day. But things are always a lot easier every time I see that you all have taken the time to remember to keep on sending the love!

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

Brazilian politicians have reportedly stayed clear of the Olympics because of the bad mood of the country over the money spent on the Games. Not only that, but why do they need to go out of their ways to watch other people who make a living out of constantly running?

Brazilian politicians have reportedly stayed clear of the Olympics because of the bad mood of the country over the money spent on the Games. Not to say the country put a lot of cash into the effort, but the swimmers dodging the sewage in Guanabara Bay weren’t the only ones  trying to keep their heads above water.

The world’s most expensive home located in France has an asking price of $1.1 Billion. Which is a lot of money but still only a half million more than the typical three bedroom fixer upper in Mark Zuckerberg’s neighborhood in Palo Alto.

Democrats are fearing that hackers who leaked documents were targeting their candidates in tight races in Florida. As opposed to the usual hurdles faced by Democrats in Florida with tampered voting machines, missing ballots and names picked from a hat by the Supreme Court.

AT&T, Apple, Google and other tech companies are working to stop robocalls, automated annoying calls by telemarketers. Which are only slightly more of a nuisance than sitting on the phone waiting for three hours when calling one of the tech companies for customer service.

A report says pregnant women in Miami are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of the Zika virus. Which is different than how they are normally afraid to leave their homes because of fear of robbery, assault and drive-by shootings.

A map has been created which shows where men around the world have the largest sized manhood. Coming in third is Jamaica, which finally explains how Usain Bolt wins all those close finishing races.

The Paralympics scheduled in Rio are reportedly suffering from budget cuts and low ticket sales. Not only that, but people wishing to compete are also being charged an arm and a leg.

An orangutan in Australia has reportedly composed its own song using a phone app with the help of a zookeeper. Which might be good news as that is exactly the same way that Justin Bieber got his start.

A judge has ruled that an initiative to legalize marijuana will remain on the ballot in Arizona. Mostly because it’s too hard to tell who is high in the state anyways as most cars are driven around at 20 miles an hour with the turn signal constantly flashing.

A judge has ruled that an initiative to legalize marijuana will remain on the ballot in Arizona. Apparently the ruling was based on competition with nearby states, dating back to when Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona for some California grass.

A judge has ruled that an initiative to legalize marijuana will remain on the ballot in Arizona. Most people around the state don’t mind the idea of legalized pot just as long as it doesn’t require a prescription to get Mueslix.

A judge has ruled that an initiative to legalize marijuana will remain on the ballot in Arizona. The only concern for most people is having to deal with the construction of a new Domino’s Pizza location at every intersection in the state.

Donald Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort has resigned, saying allegations tying him to Russia have made him “become a distraction.” Which turned into a conflict as the entire campaign is based on Trump being the distraction.

A woman in England is selling her wedding dress on eBay to pay for her subsequent divorce. Interestingly enough, she has listed the dress under the heading of “baggage.”

RBS says it will start charging corporate customers for holding their cash. The companies are more than willing to do that otherwise they will be forced to do something stupid with their money, like giving it out to their employees.

Facebook is introducing a new app for teens to share photos and videos. Which would be a good idea if every teenager hadn’t already left Facebook for Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter three years ago.

Donald Trump’s campaign is reportedly considering starting a Trump TV station to attract voters. Don’t we already have a Trump TV? It’s called Fox, CNN and Comedy Central.

An estimate says retiring couples will need to have $260,000 set aside for health care. Mostly to help them recover from the heart attack and stroke they will have when they find out their retirement will cost $260,000 for health care.

Uber’s push for self-driving cars is said to be a job killer. Especially since most people using Uber are trying to save money so they can buy their own car and reach their dream of someday becoming a driver for Uber.

A report says IT accounts for 4.6 Million U.S. jobs. Which was figured out by looking at Census data showing the population of white and Asian males living in San Jose, Cupertino and Palo Alto.

Some colleges are offering a free fifth year for students who don’t graduate in four years. On top of that, they get a free 21st year of interest payments on their student loans if they haven’t paid them all off after 20.

Martin Shkreli is calling the drug company raising the price of EpiPens by 544% “vultures.” Although what the person who raised the price of an AIDS drug by 5400% probably meant to say was “Amateurs!”

A report says Mike Pence borrowed $280,000 to put his kids through college. Which is different than how Donald Trump handled his kids education, which was giving them all executive jobs in his corporation and paying them with the money he took in from Trump University.

Donald Trump’s new campaign manager Steve Bannon says he is encouraging Trump to not be nice and aggressively go with his gut. In other words, don’t change a thing.

Donald Trump’s new campaign manager Steve Bannon says he is encouraging Trump to not be nice and aggressively go with his gut. Meaning he knows that Trump won’t listen to a word he says and will do whatever he wants anyways.

Government officials are looking to stop people on Medicaid from also getting subsidies for private health insurance. Mostly because they don’t want to be paying in duplicate for services where insurance companies are charging them in triplicate.

A report says many Olympians have dental problems. Especially the ones who weren’t able to keep their mouths closed while swimming in the green diving pool.

A report says many Olympians have dental problems. Which is understandable in after wearing a pair of Speedos all day not wanting to even think about subjecting another body part to being flossed.

A report says the water supply in two North Carolina cities may be contaminated with E.Coli. Authorities are blaming it on people who are using public water sources to wash their white hoods.

A report says the water supply in two North Carolina cities may be contaminated with E.Coli. Apparently all it takes is one person throwing their Chipotle burrito leftovers into a nearby river or lake.

The FDA has issued safety warnings over Wen hair products over complaints of hair loss and rashes. The good news is that people who wasted their money on the faulty shampoos and conditioners will now save all kinds of money from not having hair they have to wash ever again.

A study says the “business diet” consisting of red meat, snacks and alcohol is bad for the heart. Especially when the diet is combined with a business trip that involves flying on United Airlines and staying at a Super 8 Motel.

A lifelike doll left in a car in New Hampshire caused police to break out a window and perform CPR. The only question is why police thought even a real baby would be in danger in a state where the temperature never gets higher than 67 degrees.

A lifelike doll left in a car in New Hampshire caused police to break out a window and perform CPR. Although it was nowhere near as serious as the time a girl left her  Ken doll on a windowsill and a suicide team took four hours trying to talk him out of jumping.

A lifelike doll left in a car in New Hampshire caused police to break out a window and perform CPR. The owner has been called irresponsible for their actions and could be placed under Barbie Dreamhouse arrest.

A report says a baby name surge of “Simone” is taking place after the Olympic performances of Simone Biles and Simone Manuel. On the other hand, the antics of the U.S. swim team have pretty much canceled out anyone naming their child “Ryan” for the next four years.

A study says that men who are family breadwinners are less happy and healthy. Mostly from the fact that to support a family these days it pretty much takes working all day at three different minimum wage jobs.

A report says sales are increasing for canned wine. Who would have ever thought the way to throw a classy party was to be the host serving wine from a box?

A report says sales are increasing for canned wine. Mostly because the last thing you want to do after someone has already been drinking cheap wine all day is to put a corkscrew in their hands.

Wrestler Eva Marie has been suspended from the WWE for violating the Wellness Policy. Although it’s hard to believe an sport that features a flying springboard moonsault with a double stomp actually claims to have a Wellness Policy.

Wrestler Eva Marie has been suspended from the WWE for violating the Wellness Policy. Apparently when she hit someone on the back with a folding chair, she didn’t check to see that there was still someone sitting in it.

Tyra banks will teach a business course at Stanford next year. Although most people already know the secret of how to use modeling as a way to become rich. For most, it is simply marrying Donald Trump.

Police say burglars broke into the home that was used for exterior shots for the TV show “The Brady Bunch.” Fortunately no one was hurt, and the only thing missing was a container in the refrigerator full of pork chops and apple sauce. 

A lawyer for Ryan Lochte says the swimmer didn’t lie about being robbed. What else would you call getting drunk out of your mind and having a street vendor charge you $15 for a vuvuzela?

 The U.S. Women’s water polo team won the sport’s first ever back to back Olympic gold medals. The most difficult part was keeping their concentration during games with a drunk Ryan Lochte sitting in the stands constantly yelling out “Marco!”

The NBA is holding a hackathon to help build basketball analytics tools. And to get Shaquille O’Neal to the free throw line as many times as possible.

A new law in Massachusetts calls for raising the wages for women working in IT. Which will be good news for the three women interested in the seven IT jobs available in Massachusetts.

Tech publication Wired magazine has made its first ever presidential endorsement, backing Hillary Clinton. Mostly from selling magazines the next four years with articles on how to keep from getting in trouble for using a private e-mail server.

Hillary Clinton reportedly told the FBI that Colin Powell advised her to use a private e-mail account. Which shows that as far as Powell is concerned her administration won’t be the third term of President Obama as much as George W. Bush all over again where he once again gets thrown under the bus.

Donald Trump made a speech appealing to Black voters by asking them what they have to lose by voting for him. Other than their right to vote by the time he runs for reelection.

A poll says that approval of Congress has improved to a still low 18%. The good news is that at least they are pretty much guaranteed to have a higher approval rate than whomever moves into the White House in January.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Well, the Rio Olympics are over. The Games will be most remembered for the good news of the U.S. Swim Team led by Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky bringing home 33 medals. The bad news is they also brought back Ryan Lochte. While I will never win an Olympic medal, I always feel like I am right up there on the podium every time you all remember to keep sending the love!


Friday, August 19, 2016

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

A report says that Ryan Lochte and other Olympic swimmers may have lied about being robbed by fake police in Rio. Not only that, but Lochte is now also being accused of putting a sock down the front of his Speedos.

A report says that Ryan Lochte and other Olympic swimmers may have lied about being robbed by fake police in Rio. Not only that, but now some swimmers claim during races the water is always warmer in the lanes next to his.

A report says sex dolls in the future will have Artificial Intelligence to simulate love. Which for men means as soon as they are done the doll will leave.

Twitter has suspended 235,000 accounts because of extremism. Go figure that the one they still leave up is the one belonging to Donald Trump.

Uber says its first self-driving car fleet will arrive in Pittsburgh soon. Which isn’t as exciting as it sounds. Pittsburgh was chosen so the cars could be parked on the freeway in traffic for three hours and still qualify to be called self-driving.

Two people were arrested at a funeral home in Florida where 16 bodies were found to be decomposing. And those were just the mourners at a Catholic funeral waiting for the services to end.

Two people were arrested at a funeral home in Florida where 16 bodies were found to be decomposing. What else did they expect from a bunch of corpses lying around?

An Italian Bishop is threatening legal action against the developers of Pokemon Go, saying it has turned players into the “walking dead.” Where has he been the past five years when that already happened to people using their cellphones for Facebook, Twitter and texting?

The HR department at Princeton University has issued an order to faculty to not use the word “men.” That shouldn’t be a problem as when was the last time anyone heard the term “men” applied to anyone going to Princeton?

New Zealand has launched a water supply inquiry after thousands of people fell sick. It turns out the water supply was being treated with the same chemicals they were using on the Olympic diving pool in Rio.

A California porn producer has blasted the state for a “tiresome” fine over actors not using condoms. Not only that, but when a scene is done he can no longer yell out “That’s a wrap!”

A man in India claiming to be 120 says the secret of his longevity is yoga and celibacy. He says the celibacy part is easy, especially when you have been stuck in the wounded peacock pose for the past 40 years.

A man in India claiming to be 120 says the secret of his longevity is yoga and celibacy. To which most men are saying if yoga and celibacy are the key to a long life, it’s time to start shopping for a cemetery plot.

A man in India claiming to be 120 says the secret of his longevity is yoga and celibacy. Which just makes living a normal life span seem like 120 years.

Pennsylvania State Police have charged an Amish man with driving his horse and buggy while drunk with four passengers on the roof. Which answers the question as to how Ryan Lochte and his teammates finally managed to make it home from Rio.

UK TV presenter Charlie Webster has reportedly come out of a coma in Rio after contracting a rare strain of malaria. The only question is that when it comes to a UK news presenter being in a coma, how could anyone tell?

UK TV presenter Charlie Webster has reportedly come out of a coma in Rio after contracting a rare strain of malaria. She became ill following a 3,000 mile charity bike ride when she made the mistake of cooling off by jumping into an Olympic pool.

An Alaska village has voted to move their location because of climate change. Apparently villagers knew something was wrong when they witnessed a territorial fight between a polar bear and an alligator.

An Alaska village has voted to move their location because of climate change. To which Al Gore immediately called Sarah Palin to say “In your face!”

A report says that eight women were pulled from their jobs on Egyptian Television for being overweight. Which answers the question as to where Roger Ailes ended up after leaving Fox News.

A baby born on a Cebu Pacific Air flight has been given 1 Million free air mile points. Which in the U.S. on most airlines would work out to a free flight from Oklahoma City to Tulsa.

A baby born on a Cebu Pacific Air flight has been given 1 Million free air mile points. As opposed to if that happened on a flight in the U.S. where the mother would have been charged for the extra seat along with an $8 fee for baby swaddling.

Amazon is reportedly experimenting with giving part time workers full time benefits. Which means they get a full hour lunch along with two weeks vacation time to make up for not actually being paid a salary.

Amazon is reportedly experimenting with giving part time workers full time benefits. After working for Amazon for more than a few weeks, the one most likely to be applied for are the unemployment benefits.

The New York Federal Reserve says that middle class jobs are making a comeback in New York. The only problem is that for a job to be considered middle class in New York, it has to pay at least $500,00 a year.

The scandal involving Ryan Lochte in Rio could reportedly cost the swimming champ several of his sponsors. The biggest one that could get away is Gatorade which was going to capitalize on the sports drink being the exact same color as the Olympic pools.

A report says cashing in on Olympic medals is difficult for most athletes. What can the champion air rifle shooter do for commercial endorsements other than represent the company selling DVD’s of “A Christmas Story”?

A report says cashing in on Olympic medals is difficult for most athletes. Especially the champions at trampoline, canoeing and skeet shooting whose toughest job is convincing anyone they should actually be considered athletes.

The Department of Justice says it will stop using private prisons for federal inmates. Which is good news for prisoners who just found out the government got a very competitive bid from the people who built Abu Ghraib.

McDonald’s has removed fitness trackers from Happy Meals that were said to cause rashes. They will instead be replaced by the much more practical devices to be used following a Happy Meal, the official Ronald McDonald defibrillator.

A study says people winning bronze Olympic medals have a more happy reaction than those winning the silver. To which Michael Phelps says “The Olympics have a bronze medal?”

Johnny Depp’s ex-wife Amber Heard says she has given her $7 Million divorce settlement to charity. Which is completely different than when Charlie Sheen got divorced after he was caught giving donations to a stripper named Charity.

Esquire TV is set to run Ryan Lochte’s failed reality show “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” Apparently it failed when everyone realized the answer to the question is “The dumbest thing that could possibly come to mind.”

Alex Rodriguez says he is “done as a player.” However, a spokesman says that status could change. Which means that A-Rod is still not done when it comes to being the biggest douchebag on the planet.

Tom Brady will miss the preseason game against the Bears after slicing his thumb at practice. You would think the guy would know how to operate an air pressure needle without cutting himself by now.

The kicker for the Philadelphia Eagles suffered a concussion after being hit in the head by a punted ball. If that was the Raiders, it would have been different only in the fact that the kicker would have been the one who punted the ball.

Brazilian authorities are suggesting that Ryan Lochte and Jim Feigen should be indicted for the false reporting of a crime. The good news for the swimmers is that they managed to get away because while walking around in Speedos and bathing caps they looked like they were just getting ready for the Carnival parade.

The Buffalo Bills home field will get a new name, New Era Field. Which could cause some confusion in the new era of the salary cap to have the players getting their salary from a company selling caps.

A 200 year old shipwreck has been found at the bottom of Lake Ontario. To which Carnival Cruise Lines is saying that explains why they have been so late getting back to port.

The San Francisco Bay Area median home price is up to $735,000. Which is skewed upwards a little bit by the homes in Silicon Valley that consider $735,000 a starting point for a kitchen remodeling.

Twitter has rolled out a new filter which makes it easier to hide offensive notifications. Apparently it just allows them to be able to click and unfollow Donald Trump.

A lunar landing photo signed by the crew of Apollo 11 will be auctioned off in the UK. It is estimated to bring in the most money for a photo of a moon shot other than all the selfies of Kim Kardashian’s backside.

San Francisco’s BART is set to subsidize riders who use Uber and Lyft. Mostly just with the fact that by using Uber and Lyft, riders won’t be subjected to all the panhandlers, vagrants and pickpockets that ride on BART.

Thursday was declared Mars Day by NASA as a way to bring attention to how the space agency will someday get there. Or as most Americans consider Mars Day, any day they eat a Snickers, Milky Way or Mars bar.

New technology will enable people’s contact lenses to send health updates to their smartphone. Like when the lenses detect their eyes are completely bloodshot and their fitness app realizes its because they are stoned out of their mind.

New technology will enable people’s contact lenses to send health updates to their smartphone. For instance, when the lenses are knocked out of their eyes from hemorrhaging blood, it may be recognized by their fitness app they have Ebola.

T-Mobile is offering an all-unlimited plan to its customers. They got the idea from AT&T for unlimited talk, data and text. Just without the unlimited payments, dropped calls and online outages.

A study says computers may be better at diagnosing depression than primary care physicians. Mostly because the doctors may think the patients’ sadness is from waiting three hours for an appointment for a condition that won’t be covered by their insurance.

A study says computers may be better at diagnosing depression than primary care physicians. Mostly because a doctor sees a patient a few times a year at the most while they are looking into their computer screen more than 16 hours a day.

Uber has launched a legal battle against a law requiring London taxi drivers to learn English. Or as that law would be called in New York City, “permanent gridlock.”

A growing list of apps prove how well people are driving. Although the only one needed to actually help someone keep from crashing is the app that shuts off their texting feature whenever they are behind the wheel.

Donald Trump says he regrets sometimes saying “the wrong thing.” Although he wasn’t specific, most analysts say that could pretty much encompass everything that has come out of his mouth since June of last year.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! This Ryan Lochte thing is really blowing up at the Olympics. So far the media has really not gotten into it too much. Fortunately for him, it wasn’t like he did anything really outrageous like using a private server to send e-mails. Now that would create a media firestorm! I try and keep things low key around here. Except for the times that I can’t help but get excited when you all remember to take the time to keep on sending the love!